There are days when we feel a little bit tired, a little bit demotivated. Not to that extreme when you feel like this is you alone against the whole world, but you just know that this is not the best day in your life, and you just don’t feel right. It happens, all the time. Some life quotes say that you must live each day as if it is your very last day, but seriously, whoever said this, if they are being truly honest to themselves, must admit that this is not practical, not even close, since who has so much energy to live like that? It is natural for human being to be down from time to time, it is OK not to feel OK. This is the philosophy of ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, the book I highly recommend to anybody who still cares too much about whatever the world thinks about them.
Back to the point, today is one of the days like that. It is not that today was not productive enough; nothing too bad happened today. But at the end of the day, I just feel that today is not my day. I know, just because I know. I am still grateful for all the good things that happened to me today, for my cloase friends I met today, I am grateful for everything I have, I know that I am very lucky, but still, the day could definitely have been much better. Now the only thing I want is to be hugged tightly by my hubby. I want to stay in my little world, truly protected. Today I don’t have batteries to spread positiveness. I want to save energy for myself.
It is interesting to realize how much we have changed over the time when looking back at our younger selves. I used to be a kind of person who gets upset pretty easy. All my friends in my uni know how emotionally unstable I am. But then somehow I started to think differently, and I realized sometimes we spend too much time and energy to worry about things that probably will not really matter to us in one year from now, or even in one week, one month. Today I am a person who is still affected by things, who maybe still gets upset pretty easy compared to other people, but what really has changed is the way I react to things. When I realized that no matter how strong I my feelings and emotions are right now, they will be gone very soon. Nothing lasts forever. Anytime anything happens, I question myself, will it matter to me in 1 month? 1 year? 10 years? Will I be thinking about it everyday in the next year? Or I will get busy with other stuff? And when I have answers to those questions (which is usually ‘no’), the importance of the issues has already descended to the level low enough to be possible to be let go. It is easier to let things go when you think in a long term. I know people may say it is difficult to stay calm and cool to question yourself like that when you are angry, sad, desperate and/or down. I know it is not comfortable to drive your thoughts toward the direction that you need to let things go, to move on, when deep inside you are so attached to them. But I have learned one thing, that even though it is OK not to feel OK from time to time, it is never OK to play a victim.
So today, although I feel that things are not right, some pieces of the picture are definitely missing, I also know that tomorrow is another day, a new start. On the next week I will not think about anyone who made me feel not comfortable today and I will forget every little thing (and not very little) that made today become ‘not the best day in my life’. In Chinese, tomorrow is 明天 (ming tian), ‘明’ means ‘bright’, ‘天’ means ‘day’, so literally, tomorrow is a bright day. Tomorrow is always a brighter day. Tomorrow is a fresh start, it is a chance to be the best version of yourself. So what we need to do right now is go get a good sleep and make tomorrow become one of the best days of our life.